44 Days to go*
"Wherever you go, there you are"
Not sure where or when I first heard that phrase, but it stuck and got lodged deep down in there. Concerning travel, this made perfect sense. I've gnawed at the double meaning. "Does it mean that I always bring who I am with me, no matter how far, or does it mean I confront myself anew every place I go?"
Well, yes.
So travel has meant a sweet dichotomy to me, always bringing something always finding something. Flux. Transformation.
Which brings us to Dragonflies.
These creatures are unique in that they are born in water and stay there for two years, and then move to the air. In the water they are called Nympths or Naiads. They are amazingly mobile creatures. You may have seen then, moving up and down, forward and back and hovering in the air.
When I look up the symbolism of this animal I get these words; illumination, transformation, the lightness of being, luck, dreams, and connection to the subconscious. All of these words resonate with me. How interesting, I was never particularly drawn to dragonflies before, but these days I see them everywhere.
Hand in hand with my lover I crossed a field of dragonflies as we meandered. An outdoor concert attracted a dragonfly's attention. And I was gifted from a wise 4 year old a travel journal bearing a dragonfly guardian.
I think it was the dragonfly journal that really made me aware of my own transformation, or at least my deep desire for it, and got me looking up meanings of dragonfly in different cultures. I believe travel to be one of the biggest catalysts for transformation. I think everyone should travel some how, some time, in their lives. Breath different air, shift your view.
In the past I've seen travel as a leveling up. A "shuck off the old life and start again" deal. Almost a running away from the past.
Which brings me, finally, to gratitude.
Because when I got that journal from my student I was hit, hard, with the realization of the love and support I had around me. Leaving my work wasn't a "cut and run, and pretend that where I came from was holding me back." Gratitude snuck in and showed me how staying in one place with that community prepared me for this trip I am taking. Whatever made me feel stuck or unhappy is part of me, and where ever I go I will confront it. But I also bring all that love and good wishes. Gratitude is what is loosening my fingers from their tight grip on perfection and letting me flow into something new, rather than flinging myself blindly forward. And I think that is the word.
Blindly. Fearfully. Running away.
So, with gratitude and love, and a well gifted journal, I pack my bag.
In the past I've seen travel as a leveling up. A "shuck off the old life and start again" deal. Almost a running away from the past.
Which brings me, finally, to gratitude.
Because when I got that journal from my student I was hit, hard, with the realization of the love and support I had around me. Leaving my work wasn't a "cut and run, and pretend that where I came from was holding me back." Gratitude snuck in and showed me how staying in one place with that community prepared me for this trip I am taking. Whatever made me feel stuck or unhappy is part of me, and where ever I go I will confront it. But I also bring all that love and good wishes. Gratitude is what is loosening my fingers from their tight grip on perfection and letting me flow into something new, rather than flinging myself blindly forward. And I think that is the word.
Blindly. Fearfully. Running away.
So, with gratitude and love, and a well gifted journal, I pack my bag.
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| The travel journal with a friend. Did I mention I was getting into dragonflies? |
*this is an old post that I started back a while and didn't finish. I wanted to honor the thoughts I had at the time, but I also need to write another post.
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